Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Love for Life ... :)))

For years I took it for granted that loving oneself and being 'ok' in oneself just came naturally (yeah yeah naive or ? ). And thereof came the Love for Life.....taking pleasure in the simple things......sharing and expressing freely and without borders and boundary.....brewing laughter at any instant, however silly or simplistic, and being positive in whatever instance (including stress and problems).

Recently I experienced a series of harrowing and border-abuse incidents - stretched over several months - that awakened me to how this whole concept/ideology does not apply to all - and in fact I realised it seems harder for some! And it reinforced what I had witnessed growing up, that: the ability to be happy and at peace with oneself comes from within and will simply not last if it is catalysed by externally driven 'masking behaviours'. To be happy is about making others happy - not waiting for someone to make you smile. As my adverse experiences have ceased, I begin to take back my "Love for Life" the way I always knew it, with laughter and content enjoyment of the simple things in life - and a glow in anticipation of the bigger things which are always awaiting us. Reminded that the blessings are all around - waiting to be noticed by the positive inner eye. How could I have forgotten?

Of-course there are always mixed feelings surrounding the desire to maintain one's 'Love for Life', especially when one experiences imbalanced or unjust instances, and this reminds me of the Kite Runner. A superb movie, remarkable in the making and compelling in its storyline, but of-course quite tearful too (for me at least). I watched it thrice in the past few months, and one (partial) statement I relate to strongly - "....there is a way to be good again". Those of you who have watched it will appreciate how this fits into the injustice and betrayal faced by Hassan from his friend Amir - though not intentional, but because Amir just did not know how to deal with the situation and resolved to take the easy way out. Much later in life Amir was presented an opportunity to 'make-up-for' the betrayal. And I wondered, in my own context, will 'it be made good' one-day? Will having upheld faith that the wrongs will be 'made-up-for' be worth it in the end? And will my love for life be influenced by this?

I guess the beauty of waiting for tomorrow to unfold and give the answers, is the mysteries and wisdom it will bring with it. But today - I am content to nurture my Love for Life :)